Evidence
The scarf claims it was “just doing its job.” The blueberry claims it briefly saw its entire life flash before its tiny antioxidant eyes.
- Frost detected on cheeks (cute, not criminal).
- Scarf tension: “a smidge” → “ship mooring line.”
- Blueberry says the wind “looked judgmental.”
Winter Forecast
High chance of snow, low chance of dignity. Visibility reduced due to dramatic sighing.
Recommended attire: scarf loosened to “human-friendly” settings.
Emergency protocol: apply hot cocoa, compliments, and gentle untangling.
Join the Rescue Squad
Pledge to keep scarves fashionable, not felony-ish.
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